"The prince cannot come: he has cut his throat with a razor"

I quote Nabokov because it's part of the reading for the class that I should be attending.  But since I'm not (attending, that is), I figured a tribute is good enough.  And it's politic and thus sets the theme (for the rest of this blog).

For years, I've been talking about starting my own country.  I am currently working on that plan on several levels.  I keep my eyes open for countries or islands up for sale.  And I am writing a manifesto.

You may be asking, "Why so long to create such a simple statement of governmental beliefs?"

But it is a long process to match the concepts with the fitting language.  And to pin down something that, by nature, resists pinning.  But, as many have been waiting long, here's a rough draft of ideas.

Government: Federal, State, and Local

Me.  If you don't like it, tough.  I am not elected but I am basically irreproachable. 

Citizenship

is offered to those whom I like.  If I don't like you, you can't get in.  Likeness is ascertained by many factors: i.e. level of idiocy, taste, favorite foods, common sense, and awesome points.   Awesome points can be earned but do not overpower strong failings in other arenas.  Citizenship may be rejected or rejected for you. Also, the rules of citizenship maybe changed at any time by me.

Taxes

Since there will be no money, there will be no taxes.  Sustainability will be earned from the land and exchanged in an environment of free will and good intentions.  Not the kind of good intentions that pave the road to hell but the other kind.  Fair bartering will be over seen by the Trade Commissioner. Private property will be few and fair between; again determined by the TC.  So just in case you missed it:

Economy=Communism/Socialism (or my own special form of both)

Trade Commission and it's officers.

Me and me.

Diplomacy and Embassies 

As the innovator of muffin (or other gift) basket diplomacy, this will, of course, be our mainstay of international affairs policy.  Therefore, we will have no need for armed forces or securities of any kind as every nation will love our delicious muffins (or other gifts).  You will need no passport or visas to come or go.  If I forget your name or face, entry into the country will be denied until memory is restored.  Did I mention I was head of customs and immigration?  The embassy is my palatial palace.  Where there are plenty of couches for asylum seekers to crash and bottles of vodka to aid negotiations.

That's pretty much all I've got right now.  I'm working on the name and the dissolving clause.  The dissolving clause either explains what happens to the country when my reign ends (at my death) or what happens to old laws when I decide they've out lived their usefulness.  

In order to gain investors (to get the capitol to purchase the island and/or country) I'm thinking of building a model country.  But that may have to wait till I have more of my manifesto created.  And perhaps a mission statement.  I'm thinking something along the lines of:

Puhnkonia: Defying Capitalist Pig Dogs and Dodging Outdated Bureaucracy by Embracing the Commie Bastard Within.

Actually, I'm not sure if that's a mission statement, a motto, or a bumper sticker. Either way, I'm pretty damned sure it will make a great country!

See you on the flip side.

puhnk