Prescription Names

Being laid up in bed or on a couch most of the time, I am watching twice as much tv as possible. This is in conjunction with all the other old lady habits I've been developing: nodding off, reading, cross-stitching, flower drying, etc. Thus I've been getting a glut of commercial input. Ignoring the completely capitalist commercial regarding the economic stimulus package (SPEND! SPEND! SPEND!), I'm seeing way too many prescription medicine commercials. Andit's lead me back to a question I've had for a while: How the fuck do they come up the names for prescription drugs?!?

The newest one that is bothering me is Januvia (sp?), a diabetes medication. My problem with this is that it's pronunciation sounds very similar to the made up country Anne Hathaway is the princess/queen of in Princess Diaries 1 and 2. And it is in no way similar to the actual medical/pharmaceutical name of the drug. This is true of other drugs as well. For example, I take Lexapro for depression and anxiety. Lexapro is the brand name for escitalopram oxalate. Now, you may be able to get Lexapro out of the letters provided in the second name but there isn't any further connection between the two. The same is true of the other prescription I am currently on, this one for the pain in my ankle. Hydrocodone is the generic name for Vicodin. And both are just fancy names for really strong acetaminophen (the medical name for Tylenol). Again, none of these names are related to the other. So where the fuck did they come from?

Maybe they are the names of the doctors/chemists/scientist who discover the medicine. Except they don't really look like names. Maybe a combination of names for the whole team in R&D? Maybe a letter from each of the last names of the BoD? Maybe they ask test subjects what they would name the drug and pull one out of the hat.

I think I would name drugs after whatever they are suppose to do. I. E. Viagra=Hard-On, Cialis=Long Hard-on, Lexapro=Happy, Vicodin=Legal High, etc, etc, etc. Maybe I can include side effects in there too. Like Alli=Weight-Loss and Constant Shitting or Ambien=Sleep and Amnesia.

So . . . any ideas? Cause I have none. But I really wish I would stop seeing these commercials. At least Subway has decided to put their $5 foot longs on the everyday value menu. Now, I don't have to hear that ridic song anymore.