vox_puhnk

Vive La Revolution; Part Deux

2008-08-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

Re: Advertising Perversion

Stage One has been utterly sabotaged. There is immediate danger to all agents acting upon previous Stage One instructions. Current intel reports have evidence of Perversion already being implemented by enemy forces. Most shockingly are the photos of Church Perversion. Local chapels erected signs stating "Exercise Everyday; Walk with the Lord." Leaks are suspected within rebellion forces.

I repeat: all rebellion advertising perversion must end in order to terminate any misunderstanding of purpose and affiliation by the general public. Abort previous plan of action and await further instruction for future action.

The Rebellion is Currently Paused. . .

Social Responsibility

2008-08-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

When it comes to social responsibility, are celebrities more obligated than the average person? I say the answer is yes, at least when it comes to appearances. For example, after watching a commercial for this ridiculous Battlefield Earth (or something) between Tommy Lee and Ja Rule (I think), I watch a commercial for a wrinkle reducing product promoted by Andie MacDowell. Her lines are (something like) "Drop a dress size, I wish. Get rid of wrinkles, easy!" A beautiful, successful and talented woman, who by no means is overweight, wishes she could be a size smaller. Or at least says she does. Forget the wrinkle cream, that's the obvious message. It's easy to ignore the obvious messages. The weight factor, that's the subtle brainwashing. That simple line, seemingly irrelevant, does loads of damage to a woman's self-esteem. That's what I mean by social responsibility. Does she need to do that commercial? When she accepted, did she pay attention to what she would be saying as well as the message it would be sending? Does she really see her weight as a problem?

Maybe it sucks for the actor or celebrity but I think that the inherent exposure of the job comes with increased obligation to the public that views them. In my opinion, they should use their exposure to promote real (not gimmicky) important issues. MAybe correct the dangerous side of the profession: creating unrealistic idols of feminine(or masculine) beauty. Maybe they won't stop making those ridiculous 'ugly duckling' movies, where the girl with the curls and glasses (*cough*) gets straight hair, contacts, and the guy, but they could champion natural beauty, healthy weights and lifestyles, and self-confidence.

An example of a 'good' self image commercial, Queen Latifah and Jenny Craig. Kirstie Alley promoted the heck out of the food, Valerie Bertinelli has her skinny jeans, but Queen Latifah has 'a size healthy'. She has lost 20 lbs, she is still a curvy woman, she still acts, but she is a healthy size and lives a healthy lifestyle. And she achieved this message in a commercial for potentially seteem wrecking product. She is a great role model for women and girls.

I think we cast aside the responsibility of celebrities and companies too lightly. People say it is just a commercial. But not only are they artifacts of our society they are also shapers of our society. They tell and teach us how we should look and act. And we buy into it mentally and financially when we buy the product.

Commercial Kudos

2008-07-29T19:11:00.000-07:00

Being as of late mostly unemployed, I have been watching an inordinate amount of tv. Mostly this means commercials and frustration. However, this one series of commercials that I love: Comcast's. I love those turtles but I especially love the commercials where they literally interpret money idioms. My personal favorite is "It's a piece of cake." That mostly stems from my love of cake. But I also like "Hang on to your dough" or "Talk about savings". These commercial highlight what I ultimately love about language: the ability to play. It's something not easily done visually but quite easily done with words whether written or spoken. And not just in English but also other languages. Often it may lead to misunderstanding but it can also lead to hysterical memories . . . or a good commercial campaign.

Vive La Revolution

2008-07-14T17:58:00.001-07:00

Stage One: Advertising Perversion

Six Flags--More Flags, More Fun

Plan of Action: Open New Amusement Park
Name: Eight Flags
Slogan: More Flags, More Fun

Let the Rebellion Begin . . .

It's Been A While

2008-06-15T12:47:00.000-07:00

And I don't have anything brilliant or witty or worthwhile to say. But I am alive. And just wanted to let cyberspace know.

Why Horatio Caine is a horrible hostage negotiator and victim sympathiser

2008-05-29T12:20:00.000-07:00

If you've ever watched CSI: Miami, you know Horatio Caine makes a good case for a new kind of Tourette's syndrome. The symptoms would be repetitions of entire lines or of a persons name. The repetition is preceded and followed by a dramatic pause. Then the sufferer compulsively puts on sunglasses. As a result, a patient diagnosed with Caine Tourette's is rarely seen at night and favors sunny climes. Other possible symptoms or side-effects of the syndrome is 100% accurate aim with any kind of fire arm in any situation and a unswerving drive to discover the truth even when it is none of your business. Although this diagnosis seems to make the perfect soldier or interregator for desert warfare, it is advised that a person with Caine Tourette's be kept away from others who are: short-tempered, of an average or above average intelligence, fully capable of remembering events that occur 5 seconds ago, hiding valuable/highly-classified information, etc. especially when they have a weapon of any sort as these person's may become highly agitated and hostile at the constant repetition of their name or badly written threats. Who knows how or why this syndrome came to be. My supposition is that David Caruso's contract requires him a certain number of lines per episode and because the writers of CSI: Miami are so unoriginal that the only way to meet their obligation is to endlessly repeat meaningless lines.

All I know was if Horatio Caine was speaking to me in an attempt to prevent me from shooting someone or to comfort me in my time of loss. . . I would only be aggravated more and end up shooting or stabbing him or myself. There is nothing calming about his voice or slow pauses. The whole show is a joke, evident in the fact that Caine is not an anomaly in CSI's fictional Miami. Most of the other characters suffer from some form of speech disorder ranging from the inablity to maintain a believable accent (Calleigh Ducesne, supposedly from Louisiana) and uncontrollable mumbling (Eric Delco). No one sounds intelligent, so they make a pretty good team.

It may be a joke, but it sure is a funny one.

It's summer time. . . That means soon you will naked. Then the shame begins.

2008-05-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I heard that on the radio. Can't we even hide our self-esteem damaging advertising schemes any more.

Prescription Names

2008-05-21T21:24:00.000-07:00

Being laid up in bed or on a couch most of the time, I am watching twice as much tv as possible. This is in conjunction with all the other old lady habits I've been developing: nodding off, reading, cross-stitching, flower drying, etc. Thus I've been getting a glut of commercial input. Ignoring the completely capitalist commercial regarding the economic stimulus package (SPEND! SPEND! SPEND!), I'm seeing way too many prescription medicine commercials. Andit's lead me back to a question I've had for a while: How the fuck do they come up the names for prescription drugs?!?

The newest one that is bothering me is Januvia (sp?), a diabetes medication. My problem with this is that it's pronunciation sounds very similar to the made up country Anne Hathaway is the princess/queen of in Princess Diaries 1 and 2. And it is in no way similar to the actual medical/pharmaceutical name of the drug. This is true of other drugs as well. For example, I take Lexapro for depression and anxiety. Lexapro is the brand name for escitalopram oxalate. Now, you may be able to get Lexapro out of the letters provided in the second name but there isn't any further connection between the two. The same is true of the other prescription I am currently on, this one for the pain in my ankle. Hydrocodone is the generic name for Vicodin. And both are just fancy names for really strong acetaminophen (the medical name for Tylenol). Again, none of these names are related to the other. So where the fuck did they come from?

Maybe they are the names of the doctors/chemists/scientist who discover the medicine. Except they don't really look like names. Maybe a combination of names for the whole team in R&D? Maybe a letter from each of the last names of the BoD? Maybe they ask test subjects what they would name the drug and pull one out of the hat.

I think I would name drugs after whatever they are suppose to do. I. E. Viagra=Hard-On, Cialis=Long Hard-on, Lexapro=Happy, Vicodin=Legal High, etc, etc, etc. Maybe I can include side effects in there too. Like Alli=Weight-Loss and Constant Shitting or Ambien=Sleep and Amnesia.

So . . . any ideas? Cause I have none. But I really wish I would stop seeing these commercials. At least Subway has decided to put their $5 foot longs on the everyday value menu. Now, I don't have to hear that ridic song anymore.

Modge-Podge or Miscellany

2008-05-17T20:39:00.001-07:00

So remember that thing I said about how I felt unexpected relief . . . it was about 1,000 times better after I finished my last exam. . . And 1,000,000 times better after I walked. And perhaps 1 billion times that once I got out of those robes and into the bar. I don't know if everything feels worth it. I know the shine is a little off since I graduated .01 below the GPA for magna cum laude. I actually think it's amazing that my GPA survived this semester at all. I've got the lowest grade I've gotten all my college life: a B. So I guess I have nothing to complain about, right?

No, yeah, I've thought about it. . . I don't have fuck all to complain about. I'm fucking thrilled!! I don't have to write another paper I don't want to write. I don't have to go to another class I don't want to go to. I may have to work, which I still don't want to do, but at least I get paid. College only pays off eventually, unless you are truly academically stimulated--I am not. Some of my most interesting and enjoyable conversations "off" duty. Anyway, I'm glad that I will only have to go back when I am willing to. Except after I move out . . .

Speaking of which . . . I had a little accident on Thursday night. I pretty much aggravated an old injury. Well, aggravated is a bit of an understatement. Pretty much, the morning after, I was in the worst pain I have ever felt. Well, maybe comparable to when I had three wisdom teeth and a root canal in one dentist visit. Or that other time when I broke my wrist. I went to the emergency room and spent six hours there. Most of that time was just waiting. I got an X-ray, which showed an indiscernible bone irregularity. Then I got a CT-Scan which didn't clear anything up. And since they couldn't diagnose it, they couldn't treat it.

Finally, they decided to treat it like a fracture. Now, I have a giant splint. Apparently an old school one too. And crutches. And Vicodin. Plus, I have to make a follow up with an orthopedist. He will look at the X-rays and scans, then try to determine if it's a fracture or just a freak of nature in my ankle. In which case, I just have a sprain. And in the mean time, life is quite uncomfortable.

There's this saying "Only put off until tomorrow, what you are willing to die having left undone." Usually, I scoff at this. I mean, before I knew who it was from. Because if I thought like this, I would never accomplish the mundane. I would spend all my time writing novels and short stories. What it should really say is "Only put off, what you are willing to do with great difficulty tomorrow due to a newly acquired disability." For weeks now I've neglected my room at my parents' house, thinking I would clean it up after school was over. I also hadn't done a full load of laundry, only washing what would get me through the week. And I never packed up the dorm in order to check out. I thought it would be easy to do it all some other time.

Now, according to Picasso, the genius behind the aforementioned quote, I should have thought about what would happen if I had died. If I had died before I got to do those things, I wouldn't give a rat's ass. Unfortunately, tripping down the stairs only severely injured my foot, and left the rest of me generally intact. Now I have two options: I could ask my helpers to do all my chores or I could struggle greatly and do it myself. I'm somewhere between being lazy or being a martyr. Or setting all my shit on fire and getting over all of it.

But there are other things this whole possible broken but mostly sprained ankle is fucking up. I was going to learn to drive this summer. Near the beginning. I was going to start yoga and other work-outs again. And I'm going on vacation soon. Now, I don't know when I can do any of that. I mean unless I want to jam my splint heavy leg on the gas pedal and running everyone over, I'm really not gonna do the driving thing (which kind of impedes a job I may have had lined up since you have to have a license). All of my hotels are non-refundable but I can't really walk around King's Dominion and Historic Williamsburg on crutches. The beach maybe fine but I will get a weird tan, prob be too hot, and cannot go into the water. And I may be able to do some yoga but nothing like what I want. . .

Anyway, I had a fucking awesome time on Thursday night. I think celebrating graduation was probably the best time I've ever had. (There should have been another celebration Friday but the ankle thing fucked that up too). But I am looking forward to some good times soon, just need a couple more bits. . . But until then, I got my Vicodin.

Graduating (Naturally)

2008-05-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

It was even as recent as yesterday (Sunday) that I was denying the fact that I would be finished with college soon. I denied that I even wanted to be done. Because graduation would mean entering the adult world, with no more road blocks legitimate or otherwise.

And suddenly it hit me. One of the times I tried sleep last night, I was washed over with relief and joy. I am fucking graduating. I'm getting the fuck out of here. Even though here isn't that bad and there isn't much better. I'm gone. I cannot wait until Wednesday or Thursday or Friday or Saturday. It's like an itch I cannot scratch (and I'm an expert on this).

I'm lucky I didn't have this feeling earlier. Perhaps my stress would have been less but . . . let's just say today I did absolutely nothing. I literally slept most of the day, left the dorm twice, watched CourtTv, and half-assed some packing. I got some essential stuff done earlier (between trying to sleep) but really, I accomplished little. I already had serious time-management, procrastination, and senoritis concerns before . . . I did not need to worsen it.

What's the deal with combining products? Suddenly Shout has Resolve power and Tide has Dial scrubbing. Why are we increasing the power of our already too powerful chemicals? While I personally think Resolve is great for carpets, I feel like I'm killing brain cells with fumes AND I'm terrified that it will eat through my clothes. And why are we combining dish soap with laundry detergent? I'm already trying to find ways to use less chemicals. I have to use All Free and Clear and Fragrance Free Bounty. And sometimes even just that is a challenge for my skin to handle. I mean, stains come out pretty easy with cold water and hand soap and normal laundering (and I am not a neat person). Shouldn't are chemist/scientist be working on something useful to someone other than OCD soccer moms? What about the children starving in Africa and people dying in the Middle East. Can't they find a scientific and peaceful solution to those problems? How about cheaply and safely mass manufacturing mylaria vaccines or finding a cure for AIDS (something I think we can fix)? Or anything really besides making Super detergents . . .

I'm going to write about vampires now, something else I thought of between attempting a nocturnal sleep cycle. . . .

Unsympathetic Viewer

2008-05-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

So not crazy about the title. . . and the fact is this has nothing to do with much except my own personal rant about my life sparked by an episode of Burn Notice.

Although I love Jeffrey Donovan because of Touching Evil, I was seriously disappointed with Burn Notice, the story of a spy who got kicked out of the spy business and spends his time with his misfit violent spy like friends trying to find out why he was burned and in the meantime works as a mercenary for random underworld like people. This is a summer season show but USA is currently replaying the first season in preparation for the 2nd summer season coming soon. Last night I caught a rerun of the rerun because CourtTv is all messed up and there is no sound. Otherwise I would have been able to watch Party Heat or Beach Patrol at 2:30 in the morning like I usually do after a night out at the bar. Really I was suppose to be watching Aladdin but a phone call ended that plan. . . so needless to say I really didn't want to be watching Burn Notice in the first place. On top of that I had already missed most of the beginning.

So quick summary . . . some chick is a witness for the prosecution and the prosecuted really doesn't want jail time. So Jeffrey Donovan and his crew have to protect this chick, a teenager, and her mother, from Columbian drug lowlifes trying to kill her. This involves no contact with friends and hiding in his mom's garage for a while. Of course, the biggest upset is missing the Spring Formal. Already my sympathies are being tested by the ungrateful wench.

When all the best attempts fail to get the Columbians of their back, Donovan informs the put upon and attitude fueled witness that she will have to run away to Buffalo. Probably the best lines in the whole episode:

Wench: What am I suppose to do in Buffalo?
BA Donovan: The same thing you do here. They have malls . . . and clothing stores . . .

While his character is totally sympathetic, his dialogue illustrates the already ridiculous stubbornness of the teen.

And this is pretty much that part of the episode where I tune out and get pissed off. The problem stemming from her whole "Moving disrupts my entire life and how dare you ask me to do such a thing even though it is the only way to save my life. I'm a high school senior for god's sake!"
I think that's the part that really bothered me. Because I too was a senior when I was forced to move (yet again). And I've never received sympathy or god forbid pity. Even though it felt like the end of my world (and not because of 'regular' teenage attitude but because of the various psychological disorders that when undiagnosed in my youth).

As a military dependent, moving was pretty much a regular part of life. Everyone moved, so I thought. Some people more than others. Admittedly I moved less than some other military families I know but more than a few others. And even though we stayed in Nebraska for 6 years, I use to my friends coming and going. The problem was, that once we moved, my life was spiralling out of my control. A huge problem for someone with anxiety issues.

At the time I was considered a quite and shy child. That probably was the only thing wrong with me . . . at the time. Then a series of events occurred that thrust that 'inherent personality flaw' into a full blown disorder. They were in such quick succession that I can't even figure out what which was the main culprit: tonsil surgery involving overnight hospital stay and creepy male nurse, death of grandparents (two grandfathers), moved from quiet neighborhood in Nebraska to a busy city in Colorado, death of another grandparent, loss of friends not through moving but because they decide they don't like me, no more family vacations to visit family in Arkansas, elementary to middle school change, and you know being a teenager in general. And probably more that I just can't remember. . . It all kind of combined into this giant atom bomb in my life where I retreated further and further into myself and away from the unstable outside world.

I can't explain why I chose the outlets I did. It wasn't peer pressure, I did what I wanted and chose my own friends. I think I may have chosen them based on a fear of rejection. So instead of trying to make friends with band geeks and the magic nerd like I wanted, I went with the degenerates in my apartment complex. So instead of getting into pogs and D&D, I got into shoplifting, sneaking out, skipping class, and smoking. For a long time I just thought I was a bad person. Now I realized that I really was trying to control something in my life, in order to control the crushing anxiety I felt.

Things didn't get better, I just did less "illegal" things once we moved to England. Instead I drank, slept in cars, and broke curfew. Then we moved just before more senior year. And I gave up trying to make it work. I just broke away. I got my GED and moved out and I was in full control of my life, except for those things you can never control like 9/11.

I think it is fair to say that I have gotten completely off track. If I even had a track. Like I said, just a rant about my life in general. Or rather my childhood. Cause it's been on my mind. After that I was in control of everything and it just became a struggle to live. At least in my mind. And eventually I got treatment for anxiety and depression. I don't feel like the same person anymore. I'm not hanging on for dear life because I don't feel like it's slipping out of my fingers constantly (only at those times when the world tilts temporarily). And I don't know what the rest of my life will be yet but now I'm looking forward to it.

And the end of Burn Notice? They fake a surveillance tape and get the Columbians to turn on their own low life. The whiny witness and her mother get to go back to their life. And Donovan gets a clue to his burn notice.

Thank God for Dogs and Friends. . .

2008-04-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

The mean a lot whether or not they know (mostly it's the dogs that don't know).

But I'm currently having a fight with vodka (and seagram's 7) and my skin. I'm sure the first will probably be resolved pretty soon. My alcohol disagreements never last long. But the skin thing. . .

I've got abnormally dry skin on top of dandruff, excema, and psoriasis (or vice versa). But now I have lovely itchy bumps everywhere. They don't look like the pictures of hives but I don't think they're bug bites because they disappear and reappear in other places (like hives actually). And it's not shingles because it's not painful, just crazy itchy. Benadryl didn't help like WebMd suggested it might. I did find that the vodka helped the other day (the nice frozen bottle) but there are no bottles handy here. . . . Well I guess it's back to Student Health Services for dodgy experimental prescriptions. Alas that's not until Monday, so another two days of ripping off my skin.

Sorry you had to be subject to that . . .

American Lit vs. Euro Lit

2008-04-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

I have finally found what has been wrong with my English literature experience. It was all written by Americans. I can't count how many times I fell asleep reading Moby Dick. Melville, who is considered the greatest American writer of our time, could put me to sleep at noon and at 8pm. I completely Cliff Noted my way through Hawthorn, Faulkner, and Steinbeck. I wanted to slit my wrist after The Awakening not for sympathizing but from utter boredom. I had come under the impression that I hated reading (which is strange since I got interested in English because of my love of reading).

Then I took Continental Novels in Translation. There isn't an amazing professor who has changed my life or anything. Class is dreadfully boring (and I unfortunately have to spend three hours there tonight). But I have never fallen asleep trying to read Kundera or De Beauvoir. I even managed through Proust and kind of enjoyed it (though Calvino is pushing it). And I realized that my favorite two authors were already not American--Agatha Christie and Maeve Binchy (do not laugh).

And I began thinking about the difference.

What is the difference between American and European writers?

Europeans are able to write with feeling about feeling. Because they had real shit happen to them. Even if they didn't live through it, it has sunk into the soil and grows in the food. It pollutes the water and chokes the air. Pain, blood, tears, fresh and old, surround them. Kundera wrote about communism dicatorship and censorship through body and sexual metaphors, through laughter and memory. De Beauvoir addressed the ridiculousness of the "Female Condition" with hyperbole and yet raw emotion. Better than Melville's whale and religion convoluted myth building and Chopin's stereotypical feminist awakening.

American writers are generally struck with an overwhelming malaise. As though they sat down one day and realized they had no more indigenious people to kill and enslaved races to oppress. What shall we do next? Vex future generations of scholars with dry writing about The Dust Bowl and crazy farmer families. Or wars that only sort of kind of effected them but not really because they let the rest of the world destroy itself before getting involved. Characters languish in their basically boring existence under crushing middle class apathy and melancholy.

I already live in that world. Welcome to America. Tell me something real. Make me feel something real. Don't bore me to death with whale biology or turtles crossing the road. Don't call everyone phonies and expected me to sympathize or identify with you. Let me live in a magical world where laughter lifts you up into heaven and your very identity can be called into question by years of world wars and civil unrest. The experience may or may not be real but the emotion always is. And that is what American literature is missing.

I don't wanna spend . . .

2008-04-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

next Friday night like I'm spending this Friday night. . . .

No those aren't the House of Heroes lyrics but I mean that's life . . .

Last night, I went out partying with my VoxPop family (and our second cousins Connect Mason). It was super awesome. Though admittedly I drank to much (but simultaneously not enough). And yet again I'm being called a hopeless drunk. . . . but that's another story. . .

So what's going on today. Literally nothing but sleep, Tru Tv, and lame attempts to homework/writing. I must say today totally fails at being a Friday.

And I am leaving a sad electronic trail as proof. . .

Absolut Mexican Ad Campaign

2008-04-07T12:50:00.001-07:00

This is the billboard campaign running in Mexico on behalf of Absolut Vodka. Naturally there is incredible controversy, mostly in the U.S. The ad suggests half of the U.S.'s Western Territory would still belong to Mexico in a perfect world. A glancing look over the comments on pages featuring the image shows a wide range, or at least a range, of opinions. Some Americans want to boycott Absolut. Others say that the controversy is stupid. Most say that if the land belong to Mexico it would be giant poverty ridden state like that of modern Mexico, the implication being that America did a good thing by warring with Mexico and manifesting our destiny.

I say that America needs to get over itself. Do they really think that every country imagines the ideal world being mapped the way it currently is? Seriously?! Like some British don't still mourn the loss of the American Colonies? Or the Portuguese wouldn't want back Brazil?

Who is still operating under the delusion the the U. S. has been this goodwill nation, mercifully saving natives from themselves and introducing them to true civilisation? Yes, America is a powerful nation. We are not a third world country. But that has come at the price of other possibilities for diversity and culture in the geographical location know as North America.

Empires are built on the destruction of others. All throughout history people have been oppressing others. America isn't the first or the last. Nor the best or the worst. If we are going to be sensitive about our history, we might as well perform extreme revisionists history like Communist Russia and make our own "Absolut World". We can spoon feed it to elementary students and invest trillions of dollars into extensive propaganda programs. There seems to be enough people to buy it.

On a final note, Absolut isn't even that great of a Vodka. I prefer Smirnoff. But I might start drinking Absolut . . . just to say I endorse creative freedom and alternative histories while I'm gettin' my drink on . . .

Undergrad Secrets

2008-03-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

When I came to college, I was not locked into a major. When I applied, I wanted dance. The first week of school, I wanted to rehabilitate serial killers. A month in, I thought I'd prefer working with emotionally distressed teens. Then I bounced around some other professions before I settled on English at the last possible second.

What nobody tells you about is all the listserv messages you miss by being an undeclared student. If I had been receiving these major specific emails, I would have heard about the Undergrad English Students group, publication opportunities and Student Media. Then I could have had my life consumed and my GPA suffering long before my senior semester.

My tip: Even if you don't know what your major is, try to sign up for as many message boards, listervs and bulletins that you can.

I was at first hesitant about living in on-campus housing. Especially as I was 21 and had experienced living on my own before I went to college. But my lack of driving ability and car made it impossible for me to choose another option. What I discovered though were two close friends and an awesome community living experience. Both have continued to be my roommates for the rest of my college life, completely eliminating the awkward random roommate assignment.

My tip: Live on whatever on-campus housing is available. If there are group specific floors, it's a good way to ease into public living with people who have simlar experience or interests. If it sucks your first year, you've got three more to go and try alternative housing.

Food on-campus is often issue . . . but not for me. Stop bitching and just eat it. It kind of grows on your.

Sleep is good. Get some. Even if you have to sacrifice the quality of your paper. Paper is perishable, Sleep is eternal.

The library is a good for place for books. If you are an English major, try to stay away from here. Inevitably you will find 100 books you want to read and turn your 1-hour of study time into endless book skimming and maxing out your lending limit. Besides, my experience shows that close reading your source text is preferred to hundreds of secondary sources (unless it is specifically a research paper, of which I have had 2 as an English major).

Student Unions. . . . unless they serve alcohol I'd stayed away.

Campus Clinic. No matter what is wrong with you, they have a drug to fix it. Do not stay in your room spreading germs to everyone living in the dorm. This is how stomach flu epidemics get started and they start putting Purell everywhere, covering keyboards in Saran Wrap, and revoking salad bars (yes, this really happened). If the clinic is free there's no reason not to go. You know you're just going to skip class anyway, why not make it less miserable by getting drugs. . . (prescription that is)

Stone Angels

2008-03-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

Not suspended but sinking
Not sinking but falling
Not falling but approaching
Not approaching but receding
Not receding but ascending
Not ascending but diving
Not diving but flying
Not flying but swimming
Not swimming but windmill
Not windmill but waterfall
Not waterfall but sky
Not sky but sea
Not sea but listen
Not listen but touched
Not touched but saved
Not saved but stoned
Not stoned but flown
Not flown but lifted
Not lifted but dropped
Not dropped but delivered
Not delivered

It's been a long time (long time)

2008-03-23T21:49:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't have left you, left you

Without a dope beat to step to, step to

It's not that there hasn't been plenty to update about. I mean VoxPop has even been to NYC and back. Not to mention the first VoxPop of the semester has been published and building stellar excitement at the Job and Internship Fair.

And I've been busy as hell. (who isn't these days?)

And a laptop can only do so much without internet access. (Can someone explain to me why the Marriot in Time Square doesn't have free wireless when the Holiday Inn in BF Tennessee does?)

So what's my first topic back from my non-vacation but long break nonetheless?

Court Tv (or currently known as TruTv)

If you know me, you know my absurd Court Tv obsession. Unless I can find something mildly entertaining for long periods of times, Court Tv is my station. Anyway, today, upon awaking, I was watching a bit of Court Tv. They have about 100 of those surveillance camera shows. You know, they usually show car chases, hold-ups, and dumb criminals. And I began thinking. . . Wouldn't it be smart for criminals to watch shows like these to improve in their chosen career field?

I mean . . . maybe CSI or Law and Order would be too fictional . . . And Forensic Files might be too advanced for the average stick-up guy. But these surveillance camera shows are really quite simple. Watch and Learn essentially.

For example . . . If you get pulled over by the cops, don't argue. Especially when you are hiding 50lbs of mary jane in the trunk. Cover your face BEFORE you enter your intended store target. Ceiling tiles cannot support the weight of a full-grown man. This goes double for when you're drunk.

Those are pretty simple, I think, but you would be surprised how often these mistakes get repeated. I mean, if I were a criminal, I would splurge the extra bucks for cable to get Court Tv, and avoid already failed plans. And watching Most Shocking or World's Wildest Police Chases won't have too many long words. But plenty of horrible puns.

So that was short. Sweet. And pointless.

Welcome back.

Oh Look, A Movie Review

2008-03-07T21:54:00.000-08:00

Aside from getting little to no work down but still spending nearly 24 hours in the office . . . I haven't done much.

But today I saw a movie. Bah! Is my response. We saw Vantage Point. The general problem with this (aside from the look on Dennis Quaid's face in the car chase scenes, and the loving glances between him and President William Hurt at the end) is that 50% of the movie is the same 20 minute period played over and over again unnecessarily. IMO the same intrigue and suspense could have been made with simultaneous story-telling the fracturing added nothing, nither artistically nor in entertainment. But otherwise it was fine. Could of used more explanation about why the terrorists were terrorist (but,in reality, do we really care?)

There was another problem with the whole night. The fact that I really wanted to see a movie in the theater and there were no horror movies out. And even though it's been almost a month since I've last been to the theater, I had seen most of the previews (the ones I hadn't seen were lame). Are these still the effects of the writers' strike?

BTW just saw a commercial for Vantage Point. . . "Keeps you guessing from beginning to end" only because they purposely obscure the truth. IMO something that keeps me guessing is a movie where everything is out in the open but still a mystery. That is a real thriller. For example, Firewall or Fracture. Those were suspenseful. Those kept me guessing.

But my taste in movies have been questioned before. . .

Those Crazy Kids at VoxPop!!

2008-03-05T09:49:00.000-08:00

I can't thank everyone enough! This was a lot of fun and it looks great!

Special Big Thanks to our Friends at Connect Mason

VoxPop Careers from Whitney Rhodes on Vimeo.

"The prince cannot come: he has cut his throat with a razor"

2008-03-04T15:47:00.000-08:00

I quote Nabokov because it's part of the reading for the class that I should be attending. But since I'm not (attending, that is), I figured a tribute is good enough. And it's politic and thus sets the theme (for the rest of this blog).

For years, I've been talking about starting my own country. I am currently working on that plan on several levels. I keep my eyes open for countries or islands up for sale. And I am writing a manifesto.

You may be asking, "Why so long to create such a simple statement of governmental beliefs?"

But it is a long process to match the concepts with the fitting language. And to pin down something that, by nature, resists pinning. But, as many have been waiting long, here's a rough draft of ideas.

Government: Federal, State, and Local

Me. If you don't like it, tough. I am not elected but I am basically irreproachable.

Citizenship

is offered to those whom I like. If I don't like you, you can't get in. Likeness is ascertained by many factors: i.e. level of idiocy, taste, favorite foods, common sense, and awesome points. Awesome points can be earned but do not overpower strong failings in other arenas. Citizenship may be rejected or rejected for you. Also, the rules of citizenship maybe changed at any time by me.

Taxes

Since there will be no money, there will be no taxes. Sustainability will be earned from the land and exchanged in an environment of free will and good intentions. Not the kind of good intentions that pave the road to hell but the other kind. Fair bartering will be over seen by the Trade Commissioner. Private property will be few and fair between; again determined by the TC. So just in case you missed it:

Economy=Communism/Socialism (or my own special form of both)

Trade Commission and it's officers.

Me and me.

Diplomacy and Embassies

As the innovator of muffin (or other gift) basket diplomacy, this will, of course, be our mainstay of international affairs policy. Therefore, we will have no need for armed forces or securities of any kind as every nation will love our delicious muffins (or other gifts). You will need no passport or visas to come or go. If I forget your name or face, entry into the country will be denied until memory is restored. Did I mention I was head of customs and immigration? The embassy is my palatial palace. Where there are plenty of couches for asylum seekers to crash and bottles of vodka to aid negotiations.

That's pretty much all I've got right now. I'm working on the name and the dissolving clause. The dissolving clause either explains what happens to the country when my reign ends (at my death) or what happens to old laws when I decide they've out lived their usefulness.

In order to gain investors (to get the capitol to purchase the island and/or country) I'm thinking of building a model country. But that may have to wait till I have more of my manifesto created. And perhaps a mission statement. I'm thinking something along the lines of:

Puhnkonia: Defying Capitalist Pig Dogs and Dodging Outdated Bureaucracy by Embracing the Commie Bastard Within.

Actually, I'm not sure if that's a mission statement, a motto, or a bumper sticker. Either way, I'm pretty damned sure it will make a great country!

See you on the flip side.

puhnk

Awsedome and Muffin Basket Diplomacy

2008-03-03T20:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, that is a word that I just made up. But I'm pretty sure it refers to the kingdom of Awesome.

It is probably the place where Spring break resides. And therefore, I will be visiting next week. The best part about that trip is that I don't have to get dressed or leave my couch.

In actuality, I'm not going anywhere. No beach. No exotic location. Not even out of state. Which is alright by me. Because my parents' house has everything you need to survive: HBO on demand, near-by Blockbuster, and of course alcohol.

But that's still a week away.

Voting in Texas and Ohio tomorrow/today (depending on time zone). I can't vote in that. Though oddly enough I have lived in both places. Any . . .Who knows what will happen? Or what it will mean when it does happen? I don't think Hillary will leave the race till she is kicked out. And Obama should only pull out if Hillary kicks his ass (which I'm pretty sure we all agree cannot happen at this point). So, they should just combine campaigns. Make one Super Candidate that all those Super Delegates can vote for. Then Clinton could get out of those super bitch suits and into spandex tights (though I don't know which is better).

But that leads me to ask: who is the super villain? I think the answer might be ourselves. Wait, no, more accurately, the current administration (which, btw, is indirectly ourselves, since we voted him in). With Fidel Castro gone, Saddam cold and buried, and Al-Qaeda practically a fairy tale. . . There seems to be no one evil entity. There are countries that concern us: Iraq (again us), Iran, Pakistan, North Korea, Venezuela. Then, of course, there is always poverty, famine, AIDS, global warming, and natural disasters to worry about. But these are all really vague issues looming off in the horizon. Ones that have been hanging around for years. But then so had the others before a president chose to pick on one.

So, who will the next administration choose to unite a nation against? Whoever they pick will suddenly materialize. Become an immediate threat. Then I would have no problem remembering the names of presidents/dictators or the numerous sins they've commit. My roommate insists that it will be Iran. That by the time Bush's presidency is over, he will have already taken some stupid course of action. I think that he doesn't really want to be named the worst president of all time, so he might do the smartest thing of his presidency and NOT attack someone.

But my hope (even if it is audacious) is that whoever becomes president will not make big bad boogeyman super villains out of our "enemies" or rivals or whatever they are. My hope is that the next president will be truly diplomatic with all nations, troubled, poor, friendly or not. That there will be open lines of communication and real sensible aid or negotiations. I hope that he or she will rebuild the respect of our nation in other places, because America has a great ideal it could live up to and that should be respected, and build a respect within our own nation for other cultures and ways living. I think even showing real respect, not polite political lip service, would go a long way to repairing international relations. That and a muffin basket.

My Music Blog at 5am

2008-02-29T02:27:00.000-08:00

Don't bother asking me why I am awake now. Trust me, I wish I were sleeping.

I figure it was about time to do something about music. It's a good topic cause everybody likes it. And for those of you who don't, you're weird.

Naturally, I'm only going to talk about what I like. In my approach to this, I decided not to try to use my brand of objective yet biased vague yet specific but non-informative music genre categorization. Instead, I thought it would be best to use iTunes and let it tell me what I like (honestly, isn't that where the future is heading anyway, I'm sure Apple is working on iOpinion as we speak). I'm gonna use that even if the results will have the potential to be embarrassing for me, which is why I would hesitate otherwise.

This isn't your usual "Pick your random ten songs" type thing. This is a serious consideration of my top played songs as iTunes, luckily, keeps track of that pretty useless but obsessively interesting information.

Top Play Count Songs with Commentary (of course!)

1. Angel-Aerosmith----114 plays

Neither embarrassing or a surprise. This song, without doubt, is my favorite song. Ever. Period. From a person whose favorite list of anything always includes at least 3 options (plus more alternatives) that's saying a lot.

2. Hello-Evanescence---114 plays

I'm not sure why this has as many plays as "Angel" since it is nowhere near being my favorite song. This song is in my "Mood" music category. By "Mood" I mean music I listen to when I'm melancholy (or is it melancholic?) or trying to write. Usually those two events occur simultaneously and last for hours/days, thus the high play count of this song.

3. Hallelujah-Rufus Wainwright---112 plays

I first heard this song on the Shrek soundtrack. When I first got Shrek on VHS (an oldie but a goodie media, except not really 'goodie'), I use to rewind the movie to the scene where the song is played and listen to it over and over and over and over again. I've pretty much done the same thing with this song.

4. It's Been Awhile-Staind---102 plays

Not even my favorite Staind sing but it is the one I've had the longest. Quite possibly it is my favorite song title though. I often use it in emails and short stories because I like to pretend I'm clever when I slip in stuff like that.

5. My Immortal-Evanescence---98 plays

The only reason I ever gave Evanescence the time of day was because of "Bring Me to Life." I love that song and I still remember the first time I heard, one of the few songs that earn that honor. However, "My Immortal" soon eclipsed that because of my ability to directly connect the emotions of the song to my massive/epic novel(s) Consumption Divine. I mean is about vampire gods and goddesses after all.

6. If You're Not the One-Daniel Bedingfield---97 plays

I like Daniel of the two Bedingfields. Unfortunately I can't much explain this song at all. Except this song examines the feelings of unreturned heartbreaking love and who can't identify with that?

7. Total Eclipse of the Heart-Bonnie Taylor---96 plays

I have loved this song since before iTunes was even invented or possible conceptual conceived. All I can say is it's epic. And also kind of evokes my novel (see above).

8. Numb-Linkin' Park---93 plays

Again, not my favorite Linkin' Park song but the one I've had the longest. But considering most of the content of my fave Park songs, I don't think it makes much of a difference.

9. Inside Out-Eve 6---91 plays

I had no idea I had listened to song so many times. What I really love about this song is the amazing and admirable image and word play. I think it shows true thought and artistry with language which is rare to find anywhere but especially in modern music. Also, it has the truest explanation of my hate for clocks (sans those of the digital variety): "The tick-tock of the clock is painful, all sane and logical. . ." (note: the play count just went up one as I just listened to it).

10. Behind Blue Eyes-Limp Bizkit---91 plays

I only got really interested in this song because of the music video special they did on MTV (or something resembling MTV) when the movie Gothika came out. (BTW if anyone can figure out why that movie is called Gothika, please let me know). I knew the original by The Who (you know that great 'classic' band that now whores itself to CBS's CSI franchise's numerous theme songs) and it didn't appeal to me too much. But when I was watching this special, I happened to catch a line that I heard as "My dreams aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be." Because I've always considered my self to have no conscience, I thought this was great. At some point, I discovered that it was "conscious" rather than "conscience" and I became disillusioned by the song. Unfortunately, I had already listened to it an ass load of times. (note: that was a long commentary for a mediocre cover song).

Honorable Mentions (Because this blog just isn't quite long enough)

I Melt With You-Modern English--91 plays

Breaking the Habit-Linkin' Park--91 plays

Runaway Train-Soul Asylum--89 plays

Ain't No Sunshine-Bill Withers--85 plays

She's Always A Woman-Billy Joel--84 plays (ah, there's the embarrassment)

So, I don't know how I feel about all of that. If we went with my description of my music taste, I would say "Angel" is my favorite song (which we already covered); Aerosmith, Queen, Staind, and Linkin' Park are my favorite bands; and hard rock is my favorite genre. But apparently I listen to my "Slit my Wrist" music more than anything else. Perhaps it's not fair to call it that since it is also my "I Want to Sleep With Music" playlist too. So, I guess that makes it my "Suicide or Sleep" music. That amuses me somehow. And makes me sleepy. So I will attempt sleep again.

But if you're still awake, does iTunes take into account play counts on your iPod? What happens when I transfer my music to my laptop, will the play counts transfer too?

The End.

Searching for Meaning

2008-02-25T12:40:00.000-08:00

I have started about four or five blogs and deleted them all when I realized that I have nothing to say. If you're ever near me ever, you would find this difficult to believe--that I have nothing to say. Maybe I should be more explicit--I have nothing meaningful to say. Even now I can't think of anything to add to this.

In an attempt to find something meaningful, I've begun obsessively reading news sites. Just about the only thing I have to say in response is "What?!" Probably some of the most meaningless letters ever assembled to create a word. Never useful or meaningful in any situation.

I feel like this problem deserves some philosophizing. Some clever or smart observation about me or the state of the world. But I am becoming increasingly fond of Nabokov's line "Philosophy is the invention of the rich." Or even better, from Shakespeare himself , "Hang philosophy!" And of course I'm not entirely sure either of these phrases are appropriate (when in Rome.)

I came here in sunglasses and I'm leaving without. It sounds poetic enough. And since it seems to have no immediately discernible meaning, it must be poetry. And by the same logic it must also be philosophy, as it is just as mysterious in meaning.

And those are my thoughts for today.

Busy, busy, busy bee

2008-02-21T10:04:00.000-08:00

Somewhere between calling advertisers, oversleeping, and awkward convergence meetings, I think I had a life. But don't hold me to it.

Hit the Auld Shebeen last Friday. I found it to be pretty awesome. But I wish I had been more drunk. Don't get me wrong, I drank a lot but . . . I somehow got angry drunk. So that was a downer. But again, on Friday, I will be chilling (with my drink and my two-step) at the Auld Shebeen. Seriously the basement is everything a bar should be.

Last night there was a full lunar eclipse. I was happy to see that for about five minutes. Then my roommates and I spent the next half hour trying to take pictures. In case anyone has ever tried this or would like to try in the future, here's a warning: regular cameras cannot capture the moon. It is too far away. Period. The End. You might get smeary moon like pictures. Or even a little dot that's kind of white. But on the whole, you will not get the moon. So do not waste half an hour in the freezing cold with chairs and books acting as makeshift tripods trying and testing a thousand different camera settings in attempt to record a lunar eclipse.

And Squid the frog died. Right in the middle of the eclipse. I dished him out with a spoon (cause no one else would do it) and we buried him outside our door, right near Inochiquoise (the ancient Beta fish that died last semester). No longer is there Squid and Tango, just Tango. At least until we get Squid+1. Then we can relive the little Squid moments with a new frog. But there aren't many cause we only had him for two weeks. But still they were good. Rest In Peace Squid!

And in other news. . . there is no other news. Thank god it's Thursday!!

Fragments in Time and Something about Voting

2008-02-12T07:30:00.000-08:00

Monday, Monday . . . (oh no not songs again! It's not even Monday!)

Right.

Happy Super Tuesday! No--Happy Chesapeake Tuesday! Did you vote today?

I did. I woke up before the crack of dawn (though it pretty much looks the same), voted and went to an early morning class just so I can spend most of the day in meetings and drink an enormous amount of coffee to make it through a 7-10 class. And vote. (That was the real point wasn't it). It's crazy for college students to get out and vote. Despite that it's our civic duty, they (the government of all conspiracy theories) don't make it easy for all of us. I mean, college students have to have some of the most complex residencies in the country, unless they are going to a university in state. Out of the three kids within my own family, I'm the only who's permanent resident and college is in the same state; so, I'm just gonna assume that a large number of students travel out of state for their higher education. I am thankful for the leap in technology (from lever and paper voting, if any of you ever did that, to the beautiful touch screens of today), but really voting technology needs to find a worm hole and travel light years into the future so that any American citizen (or whatever it takes to vote in this country) can do it from wherever they are in the U.S. I know this complicates state level voting, but I'm sure the intelligent people in control of voting (is anyone in control, btw?) can figure out a way around the kinks. It's not that I would promote laziness (did I just say that?), but voting should be made as easy as possible. Besides I'm sure it wouldn't just help college students but others who may reside in one state but do a large part of their living in another (or several others), like truckers, and athletes, and traveling singing groups, and socialites, and diplomats, and etc. This would never be a problem on my island of revolution, of course. Because no one votes and I'm always in charge.

All in all, that's not what I wanted to talk about. . .

I'm in a special topics class mysteriously entitled "Bookish Beasts". In actuality the full title is "Engl 497: Special Topics in Creative Writing: Collage, Collaboration, and Other Bookish Beasts". The class covers all forms of and matters concerning what is commonly called altered books. Taken at the page level this includes collage poetry, erasure poetry, collaborative poetry, etc. Considering I haven't taken a poetry class since Intro to Creative Writing (was that sophomore year?) and this is a combined undergrad and graduate course, most of the discourse concerning the experimental (can it really be called experimental since it's been going on since Pound and Eliot?) art-form/poetry is pretty much above my head. But I do understand the most basic question: How is it considered art or created or original craft, when you are taking from material previously published (and created) by another artist? I could erase some words in a book and call it a poem. Would that make me an artist or, even more prestigiously, a writer?

I, in fact, had the very same question the first night of class. I, in all my infinite wisdom, thought we would adress these questions on the first night. We didn't. Or maybe we did and I didn't understand (or don't remember). But for this week's assignment, we were given a piece that responded to these concerns. And, at least to my satisfaction, quelled fears of unoriginality or theft or becoming prentiously mysterious about meanings and calling everything art or meaningful poetry. Though I guess you can call it whatever you want, but that doesn't make it good. So, to add my response to the the articles response I collaged a thing. It's actually really interesting because the poem part, sandwiched in the middle between to two quotes, I wrote while I was taking that Intro to Creative Writing class (on my way back to my room after feeling particularly depressed about my creativity and overall bad poetry). When I read the article, my mind immediately came back to this piece. Anyway here's the new thing:

"We all speak words already spoken and write words already written."

Already

What I want to say

is already written.

So, I steal

their words

to make my own,

create a home

for my thoughts

they stole

already.

"I will speak with his mouth as before I lived he spoke with mine."

click for full article

It may evolve into a greater (or lesser, though that's not really evolving is it?) being in the future. But that is essentially collage, both theoretically and in practice.

That's all for today. I think I need more coffee.

"Yes We Can" Video

2008-02-10T18:04:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have had the chance to see Barack Obama when he came to GMU last Spring. If not, allow yourself to be inspired by this video, making it's way across YouTube and other internet sites.

P. S. Don't forget to vote on Tuesday, 12 February, 2008, no matter who you choose.

Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Back (Kotter)

2008-02-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

Ok, so you're name isn't Kotter. Ok, so it's the third week of school. Maybe you didn't go anywhere. Maybe this is your first semester. Whatever, I don't care, I want to do a welcome/update blog, so deal.

So, what's new pussycat? (whoo-oo-o)

Other than my new fascination with obscure theme songs, not much. (Big lead up and little delivery right?) Let's see, the new convenient store opened. But it's not convenient for me, living on the other side of campus, so I will probably never make it out there. Another buzz topic on campus, the closing of Lot F. Again, not a big concern for me because I don't have a car. And that topic is thoroughly discussed in late night classes (when all the commuters need to park) and in Broadside.

So, what can I talk about? New hours at The Bistro. And pretty much every eatery in the JC. Last semester on-campus dining experienced an hours explosion. Suddenly there was a plethora of food on the weekends at hours when the average college student was awake. Now, the JC after 3 on Friday is once again a torturous place for the empty stomach. Unless you want Taco Bell or sushi, you are pretty much left with Ciao Hall again. Or the Ramen Noodles in your dorm room.

But back to The Bistro. This semester they close at 2pm. I think the logic behind this is the extra hours at George's and the pasta exhibition place that has replaced Charleston Market. Unfortunately, since I hate pasta and eating in George's, this just doesn't cut it for me. (Sorry rabid George's fans) Admittedly, Charleston Market didn't have the best food, but they did carve up big pieces of meat. And on a campus where most the meat you can get is deli, chopped, wrapped in a tortilla, stuck on cheese, soaked in salt, deep fried, or covered in MSG, a slice of roast turkey was a nice pure protein alternative. Probably the most unbelievable part of the new JC hours is the seemingly constant closure of the pizza place. That was an easy place to grab a slice for breakfast and dinner on Saturdays and Sundays. It's beyond me why they've closed it since it is the only place that serves pizza (other than The Bistro, but we've covered that). And unless you count that doughy cheesy concoction served in Ciao. Which I don't.

Be sure, in the future, I won't talk so much about food. Or complain so much at all. In fact, this weekend, if this cold doesn't get the better of me, I will be hitting up The Auld Shebeen again. Last time I went it was pretty awesome. The band played covers of 80s songs with a rock 'n' roll twist. But my friend wasn't entirely feelin' it, so we didn't stay as long as I'd like. This weekend I have no idea who the band is but I will be there with someone who doesn't get the drunken urge to wander. Anyway, I will be back here Monday to share all my exciting escapades. Unless I am taken out by this gradually building cold/flu thing, in which case you will get a sniffly update of how warm my bed was and how worn out my DVD collection is.

Find out next time . . . Same Bat Time-Same Bat Channel!

(Ok so it's not a theme song but it's just as lame.)